Mission Impossible

(Gastón Flores)

Webmaster Note:
Gastón is from Argentina (I never realised how international the game Paranoia was until I started running these pages).  I have been meaning for some time to reword this mission for him (Gastón himself says that he doesn't know the translations of some words).  Time hasn't been on my side, so I have decided to post the mission as he sent it, and work on a better translation for him if some spare time comes my way.


The Troubleshooters receive a call from The Computer. They have been selected to serve the Complex in an important mission against Commies. They must be in the briefing room of the THH sector in 5 minutes or they will be executed. (Feel free to add some action.)


The briefing officer is a pallid freak. His name is Id-I-OTT-2. Is a jerk who get the job because he has contacts with an Ultraviolet Programmer of the Illuminati; itís only a puppet. He is a total incompetent and he know nothing about his job. During the briefing, he hesitates, coughs; he says one thing and then another. Play it like a timid nerd. But, one important thing: he keeps dropping the mission papers, mixing them and making the Computerís orders appear to be a puzzle. Confuse the players.

The mission, only for the GM, is the following:

  1. they must go to the Production and Logistics sector, pick the assigned equipment and sign the appropriate forms. Then, go to the R&D on the TRE sector and ask for the experimental material. (Id-I-OTT, at this point, drops the papers and gave the player a WRONG mission number, so, when the players go to ask for their equipment, they will received inappropriate or defective stuff).

  3. they must locate and destroy ALL of the commies that seems to have appeared on the PLK sector. The rumors (all rumors are treason) are that they are part of a secret society that enjoys destructing the Computer property and spreading chaos in the pacific Alpha Complex. But also, the most important part of the mission is protect the R&D of that sector, because they are experimenting with a «this information is not for your security clearance, citizen.» 


Itís around the corner, but the only way to get there is by a narrow corridor which mysteriously has a blue line 2 m. wide in the middle. The rest of the corridor is Red Clearance. (Feel free to add some action, if needed). If they get there, they will discover a 100 meter row waiting to be called. They must fill the forms, hundreds of them, but confuse they a little bit. The officials ignore them, they make them go to dozens of windows. It is not strange if they gave them wrong papers, of broken, or even with B3 spots, because they have a party recently. So, the players should refill the forms at least one time, because accepting a dirty form is treason. Finally, they receive the equipment:
    • a funny robomechanic highly qualified on ventilation cleaning. Itís supposed to be there to resolve a problem in some ventilation tubes, so they will insist in detecting and solving the problem. Itís up to the GM to use it to bother the players, because in the most inconvenient moment it will insist in doing itís work. Of course, the player will have to protect it.

    • a box full of a new model of nuclear clocks (like 20). They have been assigned to the NGT sector, were a mysterious problem is making the people sleepy. Of course, they are defective because they are the first to came out of the production line, recently approved by R&D. They are meant to last for centuries, but they are full of malfunctions and defects, like the missing 12 number. Oh, yes, and the nuclear microreactor is a little bit loose. So, when they are hit, they have a 50% possibility of blowing up with the force of a tacnucke, but with a range of only 10 meters. However, if they didnít go out, they are very heavy and tend to begin ringing, all together, in the most inconvinient moment.

    • a box with nothing else but garbage. Three broken laser pistols, a piece of a strange weapon, three decolorated, broken and filthy blue clothes (¡thinking that is treason, citizen!), 13 defective of wasted charges (Red Clearance) for the lasers, and some rotten food. 

    The official expect to makeíem sign everything, because they donít want the rotten food anymore. If the player donít want to take everything, they will be ordered to. The Troubleshooters can, of course, ask for some other stuff, like grenades (with some money in hand). But they will have a surprise when they open up the box and find only cans of B3 of more rotten food. 


Well, well. This is nice. The Troubleshooters ask for the TRE sector, they arrived there, everything is good, everybody is HAPPY. But there is a problem. On the R&D sector there is a giant robotank which screams like hell and shoots everything thatís in range. In a failed experiment, the kids of R&D took the brain of a scrubot and put it in the robotank, so now it mix the concepts of «communist scum» and «scum». Itís PARANOIC, and thinks that everything is «scum», and it believes that its cannon is a weapon against «communist scum». 


Armor:    T7
Armament: whatever you like. 

It will be nice to destroy the tank and then think in excuses for the Computer. Another option is hiding and keep going. But donít let them think too much. Anyway, there is no more R&D in the TRE sector, so they must ask to the Computer for help. Your Friend will tell them to go to sector QWE. The equipment that they will gave them there is: 

  • two mini-flamethrowers. They are feeded with a superconcentrated fuel, and they have only one and little detail: you never know where is the flame going to came out. Roll 1D10: 1-2 is back, 3-4 is left; 5-6 is right, 7-8 is up, 9-10 hits the target. The damage is equal than the standard flamethrower, but it takes 10 turns to recharge. (taken from LIDER, a spanish RPG magazine.)

  • a grenade launcher (bazooka type, but can be used as a mortar). Itís uses compressed air and itís very good: simple, easy, not very heavy... but the Troubleshooters doesnít have any grenades. And they canít find any, because there were recently a problem in the industrial production center. Maybe in the black market, but they will be VERY expensive. If the Troubleshooters are smart, they will use the wasted charges, or even the nuclear clocks, which mysteriously fit very well in the weaponsís mouth.

  • several pairs of magnetic boots, which will allow them to climb walls, hang from the ceiling, etc. The function too well: anyone who activates one will see that the boot is GLUE to the metal and canít be removed easily. Of course, you canít walk if you canít raise your feet. Also, the on/off control is near the lasses, but they might be a bit loose and tend to switch at bad moments. You need one turn per boot to take them out, but you must take them to R&D to report.

  • two Antigrav units. (yes, the same). 
After this, they must go to PLK sector. 


Lately, a gang of Death Leopards has been using this sector as a playground. The R&D succeeded in destroying ALL the cameras and microphones of the entire sector, and so the Computer canít see whatís happening in there. The sector is a bit difficult to find so the problem is more important. (Of course, the team is not the only one assigned to the mission, but with the help of Id-I-OTT-2, the other teams are cleaning ventilations tubes with flamethrowers and things like that.) The citizens in that sector are trying to take the traitors out, but is difficult considering they are Infrared Clearance and the Death Leopards took all the equipment on the R&D. So, the R&D doesnít exist now... But the Troubleshooters was assigned to protect it... Feel free to add treason points as you like. When the players arrived to the sector, the GM can make or take some funny scenes as:
  • a Blue Clearance Troubleshooter with a plasma gun who canít use it because suddenly he has three grenades in front of him.

  • a Death Leopard trying to reprogram a robomechanic; it seems to work, but it goes BOOM.

  • hundreds of Infrared citizen running to the Troubleshooter and asking for help, when they are trying to stay away.

  • total chaos.
The player canít expect help from Infrareds, robosoldiers or things like that. Maybe a couple of lost Troubleshooters, a wounded guard who is trying to escape, etc. Only if you see they are getting into big troubles taking out the traitors scum.

Oh, but Iím forgetting the main part... The R&D was experimenting with something dangerous. Yes, itís a super gauss cannon, which could, in theory, destroy or severely damage the Computer. The Death Leopards have a deal with a group of Purgers: they enjoy destroying the PLK sector and stealing the R&D, and the Purgers take only the super gauss cannon.

Of course, the goal is the Computer. (Also, the Purgers seems to have planned in some way the accident which had destroyed all the cameras and microphones.) If any of the player is a Death Leopard, they should help their society friends (of course they will know about everything thatís happening in PLK sector). If any is a Purger, they will know nothing about that, because is a very important business.

Well, so player canít finish the mission because the R&D of the PLK sector doesnít exist anymore. The only thing the can try is to go unnoticed and stopping the chaos. In a few words: stay alive and serve the Computer. When the loose some clones, let them see this: a group of people that are trying to escape with something very big in their hands. They are six, and they are quite loaded with weapons; Death Leopards ignores them. Their are carrying, of course, the super cannon; the only way the player can succeed in the mission and avoid termination is stopping this purgers and recovering the cannon.

If players begin chasing them, let some Death Leopards appeared from nothing and attack immediately. But, in that moment, the Internal Security will be arriving the sector (if the player serve well the Computer and notified it about the situation). Purgers will try to eliminate the player at any cost; they are the only ones who are left alive in the sector who can stop them. If the fight is easy for the Troubleshooter, give the purgers heavy weapons, or make any Purger PC noticed that they are his/her society friends.

Finally, three things can happen:

  1. Purgers die and the cannon is recovered safely.

  3. Purgers escapes with the cannon

  5. everything is destroyed.
If 1), the Computer marks the mission as SUCCEED and gives the player thanks, greetings, everything they ask (notice they saved the Computer, but The Computer will mark everything as CLASSIFIED) plus penalties, punishments, etc.

If 2), many Treason Points for everyone, and terminations everywhere: they failed protecting the Computer, and thatís high treason. After some days, the next clones hear a rumor about the termination of some people in an Indigo corridor; they seem to be survivors of some mysterious explosion.

If 3), more Treason Points for everyone. ¡They failed protecting the Computerís property, so let them die!

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Authors of submitted items are indicated where appropriate
All other text and graphics by Steve Criddle